Getting a divorce can be one of the most traumatic experiences in a person’s life. Not only are you losing someone you thought you’d be with forever, you also have to deal with child custody issues, splitting your finances, splitting real estate, and other practical matters while you are in the middle of grieving. If you are currently facing a divorce, here are a few steps to help you navigate this difficult time:
Don’t be afraid to process your feelings.
Depending on the circumstances of your split, you may be feeling a wide range of emotions. You may be flooded with anything from extreme grief, depression, sadness, relief, anger, or resentment. While you cannot let these emotions cause you to make poor decisions during the divorce process, you do need to make sure you process your feelings and give yourself space to express yourself. Talk to your friends and family and let them know what kind of support you need. Join a support group, so you can be around others going through the same emotions. Talk to a counselor or therapist who can help you process your feelings. Basically, do whatever you need to do to find a healthy emotional outlet during this difficult time. Not only will this help you feel better, it will help you be more emotionally balanced, enabling you to make smarter decisions during the divorce.
Take care of yourself.
It can be easy to get overwhelmed with the specifics of the divorce and neglect yourself entirely. This is especially true if you have children you are caring for. That being said, it is still important to make time for self-care. Make sure you’re getting healthy food, enough rest, and some physical activity. You may not have time for an elaborate gym routine right now, but you can do simple things like taking short walks. If you can, book yourself a massage, go out to dinner with friends, or do something else that helps take your mind off of your situation, if only for a little while.
Try not to fight with your ex.
Your emotions are probably running high towards your ex or soon-to-be ex, but don’t let this cause you to act in ways you will regret later. This is especially important if you have children to worry about. Minimize contact with your ex as much as you can, and try to keep the contact you do have neutral and pleasant. You are already hurting, and there is no need to add more drama and pain to your life. In addition, you want the divorce process to go as smoothly as possible, and fighting will just make the process longer and more expensive. See if you and your ex can put your feelings aside and process the divorce without a long court battle. As Shelby NC alimony attorneys David Teddy and Ralph Meekins explain, letting your emotions get the better of you can cause issues with the legal process of your divorce. You want to stay calm in order to reach a fair agreement.
Don’t let anyone take advantage of you.
That being said, if your ex is being unreasonable or contesting what you see as reasonable terms for your divorce, don’t just cave in. If you find yourself in this situation with a high-conflict ex, try not to engage. Instead, find an expert family law attorney who can help you negotiate the divorce in a way that doesn’t leave you with unfair terms. According to Huntsville divorce and alimony lawyer Leigh Daniel, a contested divorce can be difficult to navigate, but an experienced lawyer can help to simplify and shorten the process.
Understand the process and terms before signing anything.
Lastly, make sure you understand the process of a contested vs an uncontested divorce, and make sure you fully understand all of the terms before signing any documents. As Amber James, an alimony divorce attorney, in Huntsville AL explains, even if your divorce is uncontested, it is a good idea to have a lawyer read through any terms before you sign, as this can save you a lot of turmoil down the road.
These are just a few of the ways that you can make your divorce easier on yourself and your children. Remember to take care of yourself during this difficult time. Yes, it will soon pass, but in the meantime, you deserve to do what you need to do to help yourself heal.
I’m a 20-something stay-at-home mother and wife. I have an amazing husband, a beautiful daughter, two loving dogs, and a lazy cat. I wouldn’t change my life for anything! I love to read, listen to music, cook and blog!
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