When you’re moving, it will likely feel like a major event. That’s especially true if you find yourself moving with your family. There is so much for you to take care of. From moving out of your home to making sure that all of your belongings have safely been deposited at your new location, it’s easy to get distracted.
Most people move, at least in part, to make better lives for their families. They move because they’ve gotten new jobs that will ideally move them up the ladder, give them more time at home, or offer more money. Others move to live in better locations or to upgrade their homes to provide extra space and other opportunities. No matter what, people want their families to benefit from their moves. But that doesn’t mean that your child is going to understand this right away.
It can be difficult for young children to understand how normal moves are. Though an estimated 31 million people move in the United States every year, moves can feel totally devastating for many kids. Moving is a big deal for children, especially if they haven’t moved before. Children are uprooted by moves, especially moves that require relocating to different towns or even just different school districts. They’re often separated from their friends, and at that age, it can be difficult to stay in touch on a regular basis. They need to get used to new schools and teachers. If they move to different states, they even need to get used to different weather and maybe even some mild cultural differences. Moving is hard for people of any age, but it’s even harder for children.
It’s easy for kids to blame their parents and to associate everything that they dislike about this situation with the adults in their lives. After all, a move is something that can make a child feel powerless. You’re making the decision regarding the move in the end. You may discuss the move with your child, but ultimately, they do not have the same types of choices that you do. With that in mind, it can be easy for resentment to build up within your children — and it’s easy for you to become reactive to their anger or feel helpless. Let’s look into the some of the ways that you can ease the transition for your child.
1. Prepare Your Child
Keep in mind that the more prepared your child is, the easier the move will be the. The last thing you want is to surprise your child with the move. You have to strike something of a balance. It’s not a good idea to let your child know that they may move as you first start to contemplate the idea. Rather, you should be careful to let them know once it becomes a reality. This gives them time to adjust to the idea before the move actually happens and to say goodbye to their friends and begin to learn more about their next home. You may not have a lot of time to warn your child yourself, but you should make them feel like they’re a part of the process by letting them in on the transition.
2. Get Creative
For younger kids, it can be a good idea to create a book that celebrates your move. You can make this with your child, which further incorporates them into the moving process. The way that this works is by creating a scrapbook that first sets your family in their current home. Consider captions like, “Once upon a time, our family lived in Vermont…” This would be accompanied by photos that set your family in their current home. As you begin to go through the moving process, you and your child can take more photos together, add them to the book, and the caption them as you wish. Bonding over a project together can offset any tension that you and your child may feel and will make them more excited about their new home. Around 840,000 single-family homes were built in 2018 — but regardless of whether your new home is truly unique, you can still make it feel that way for your child.
3. Let Them Feel
It can be difficult to let your child feel their grief about moving. Nobody wants their child to feel like they’re lost or that their move is going to be the worst moment of their life. But it’s important to honor your child’s feelings and let them feel their pain. Keep an open door and listen to their concerns. Understand that there is a difference between disrespect and dissent. If your child’s grief over moving seems to be lasting an unusually long time or is otherwise impacting their behavior in a significant way, you may also want to get in touch with a therapist to check in with them. It’s also important to let them hang on to their old lives to a certain extent. Encourage them and help them to stay in touch with their friends from their old home. If you live closely enough, you may even want to facilitate visits every now and then, perhaps on the weekend or during the summer.
4. Set Up Their Room First
You may not necessarily be able to set up your child’s bedroom before you move into your new house — but if you’re able to, you should pursue this option. How quickly you can move in depends on a number of factors. Though only about 7% of homebuyers buy directly from owners, this can sometimes speed up the closing process and allow you to move in sooner. But you should prioritize setting up your child’s room first either way. This will make them more comfortable, and create the sense that their new home is really theirs. Make sure they have a say in the design and decor, as this will give them something to look forward to upon arrival.
5. Make It Fun
Moving is stressful, as we discussed above, but it can also be fun! One way to make your move more enjoyable is to bring board games to your new home. If your child likes video games, you may want to make those as accessible as possible. It can be easy for kids to get bored as they move, which can make their feelings about the process seem even more negative. Do what you can to offset this, like exploring the neighborhood, making a “welcome home” craft, or setting up a play area in the backyard.
There are so many things that you can do to ease a move for your child, which are really dependent on what your child likes and what their stressors are. Although your child will likely be upset about this new development, remember that they’re also resilient. If you pay attention and acknowledge their pain while also making the transition as pleasant as possible, they should be able to get through it with you.
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