Moms try to be in all places at all times. We wear many hats in our households ranging from breadwinner to taxi driver to chef and doctor. Whether we want to admit it or not, this can get overwhelming and exhausting. Every mom deserves to have some time away from the everyday tasks required from her and it is absolutely okay to admit this to ourselves. We need to make more time for ourselves, actually. It is important for many reasons and how you spend that time is also just as important.
Why Should We Abandon Our Troops?
First, you shouldn’t think of time to yourself as being selfish or abandoning your children. This is all just mom-guilt that we all feel if we are not dedicating every breathing moment to something children or household related. No one is superhuman and needing a little space and distance is normal. When you take a break away, it gives you time to recharge and recover. Your brain can focus on something that is interesting to you, just for you. It gives you time to relax, even just a little, and not think of the next feeding or what you need to take out of the freezer for dinner. You get to be you, not Mom.
How Alone Time Helps
Without some alone time, on a regular basis, you will experience fatigue, moodiness and even possibly mental health issues. (Hibbert, 2018) You may start to resent your role as Mom and begin to blame your own children for never feeling like yourself or losing yourself. This may even start to affect your relationships with other adults such as a partner or spouse, your friends and other family members.Scheduling in alone time for yourself has health benefits as well as benefits for your children to try to adapt to activities and such without your direct help or guidance, but that of another adult where necessary.
But What Am I Supposed to Do?
Don’t even try to use the excuse, I have nothing to do or I don’t know what I am suppose to do when I am alone. There are so many ways you can spend your away time, ranging from simple solo activities to big, elaborately planned getaways. These ideas will help you get started in making plans to give yourself a much deserved and needed break away from Mommy-hood.
Coffee/Tea Time
If you are new to taking breaks from your kids, you may find it easier at first to take baby steps. It isn’t always easy just letting go and heading out the door, especially if your children are heavily protesting your departure. So to get started, head out to a local coffee shop or cafe and bring along a book or magazine you’ve been meaning to read, preferably nothing parenting or child related. Find a table and sit with your chosen beverage (and dessert!) to read for at least an hour. If you prefer not to go it alone, invite a friend to chat over coffee instead. This could turn into great conversation, a few good belly laughs and hopefully plans for another friend date. Having a friend date upcoming, gives you something to look forward to, plan for and have that is all for you and no one else. This alone will change your emotional being and give you something to smile about.
Group Activities
If you are lucky enough to have a few other Mommy friends, you can group outings to give you all a break. There are many ways you could opt spend your time from casino trips to concerts or even ceramic painting, which has become popular lately. You can also look for local experiences for groups such as bar tours with famous mixologists or learning how to make truffles with well-known chefs. These experiences will go a long way in recharging your batteries and giving you a chance to build on your interests and hobbies.
Sleepovers
Sleepovers don’t have to be reserved just for your kiddies! Plan an overnight trip away (or even a weekend if you are feeling daring!) with your spouse or friends or even solo. You can feel the excitement of planning such a trip from choosing the destination, booking activities or reserving restaurants. Additionally, you get an extended break from your kids, and them from you as well. If you have never done this, you will be surprised by how rejuvenated you feel upon your return.
Conclusion
If you skip out on spending quality time alone with yourself or engaging in activities which are solely for you, your health will eventually be affected. With this mental cloud you will become more moody, irritable and fatigued. When you give yourself a break, cut yourself some slack, you are actually going to be a better Mom to your kids when you return to them once again. So put away the guilt and get out there and have a little fun. It’s for good health and mental fitness!
References
Hibbert, MD, C. (2018). Mom Mental Health. Retrieved from Dr. Christina Hibbert. Overcoming. Becoming. Flourishing: https://www.drchristinahibbert.com/mom-mental-health-happiness-the-importance-of-alone-time-video
I’m a 20-something stay-at-home mother and wife. I have an amazing husband, a beautiful daughter, two loving dogs, and a lazy cat. I wouldn’t change my life for anything! I love to read, listen to music, cook and blog!
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