While it may not be the norm, younger men dating older women is becoming much more prevalent. Men who prefer mature women enjoy the things these women bring to the table that their younger peers simply can’t. Older women, for instance, tend to have more self-confidence and life experience while also being better conversationalists as well as more supportive partners. They are rarely clingy or demanding and aren’t into drama.
With all of that in mind, is it any wonder why some younger men prefer to date women who are older than them?
That said, older women do have different expectations of their partners than, say, a woman in her 20s. So, guys, if you want to date an older woman successfully, here are the mistakes you need to avoid both in traditional dating and if you’re looking to be successful online.
1. Thinking you come first
If you’re dating an older woman with children, you’ll need to come to terms with not being No. 1 in her life. While the constraints on her time do change once her kids are over the age of 18, you need to be OK with the fact that she will drop everything to help them when they need her. In other words, she will always be a mother first and your lover second.
Depending on the age of the lady you’re dating, she may also be caring for aged parents and, while you may be just as important to her as her mom and dad are, there will be times when she needs to devote her attention to them.
So, if you’re used to being the center of your lady’s existence, that’s an attitude you’ll need to changeand fastif you hope to have success with an older woman.
2. Looking for older women in the wrong places
If you’re still looking, it’s important that you look for older women in the right places. While women under 35 might hang out at dance clubs on the weekends, it really isn’t the most reliable option to meet single cougars .
If you’re hoping to meet an older lady at a bar, you’ll need to go to a higher-end establishment. Cocktail bars and lounges where the vibe is more sophisticated will be a much better hunting ground for you. Coffee shops, art galleries, parks, walking trails and gyms are also great places to meet attractive, older women.
Church is another good spot, although we don’t recommend pretending to be a man of faith just to attract a woman.
If you’re worried about approaching them in person, you can take your search for an older woman online. Sites dedicated to older women-younger men relationships will give you a natural confidence boost in approaching older women. After all, you know that ladies with profiles on these sites are interested in dating younger guys.
3. Expecting your lifestyles to be the same
When dating an older woman, you need to realize that you could be at a very different stage in your life than she is. Women over the age of 40 are often settled in a career and are more likely to own a home and have children. These factors will heavily influence her priorities and how she lives her life.
If you’re still establishing a career, living with roommates in a tiny apartment or still hit the bar every Friday night, chances are your lifestyles are not going to mesh.
If you do want to date an older woman, the first step to success is realizing her idea of a good time might not be the same as yours. She probably isn’t going to want to go out to the bar to party all nightand her ability to go out at all may even hinge on the availability of a babysitter.
To hang with an older woman, you may need to explore new ways to have fun and be open to more mature experiences. Consider dinner parties, going to the theater or even going on family outings with her and her children.
4. Playing games
An older woman, in all likelihood, will have had more relationships than you. That extra bit of life experience makes older women attractive to younger men. It also means that she’ll know what she does and doesn’t want in a new relationship. And she won’t be afraid to let you know what her expectations are.
If you’re a player, enjoy drama or play games of any kind when in a relationship, it’s safe to say that an older woman won’t put up with your nonsense. Younger women may have lacked the confidence to put you in your place. Maybe they even enjoyed your drama. Most older women, however, will not. They simply don’t have the time or the patience for juvenile antics. If you lack the kind of maturity an older woman finds attractive, don’t expect to be in a relationship with her for very long.
5. Being afraid to take control
When a man dates a woman with more experience and wisdom than him, he risks falling into a subservient role if he’s not careful. While there are some older women who enjoy having all of the control in a relationship, many do not. In fact, most women, no matter what their age, appreciate a man who knows when and how to take control of a situation.
A man who is strong, decisive, capable and confident is immensely attractive. That’s not to say you should be domineering, just don’t be afraid to take the lead in the various facets of your relationship. Don’t be afraid to make her feel feminine, cherished and cared for.
Remember, just because she is perfectly capable of looking after herself doesn’t mean she doesn’t appreciate you taking some of the load off of her shoulders from time to time.
6. Not being genuine
Have you ever heard the situation fake it until you make it? This isn’t a philosophy that should be applied to your relationship. Never pretend to be someone you’re not because a woman of experience will be wise to it quite quickly.
Trying to emulate an older man because you think it will make you more attractive to your older girlfriend is a huge mistake. Remember, if she’s dating you, she likely appreciates your enthusiasm and energy, something that can become muted with age.
Always be real about who you are. That takes confidence and, remember, older women find that very, very attractive.
If you’re dating an older woman, or hope to be, keep these tips in mind to ensure smooth sailing in your relationship.
I’m a 20-something stay-at-home mother and wife. I have an amazing husband, a beautiful daughter, two loving dogs, and a lazy cat. I wouldn’t change my life for anything! I love to read, listen to music, cook and blog!
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