Being a surrogate for a couple or individual that wants to expand their own family unit can be a fulfilling, rewarding experience on its own. That being said, it’s not uncommon to wonder how the process may feel for your own kids and family. While some concerns may pop up about disrupting the flow of your household, the positive impact of being a surrogate is undeniable. While every family is different and it’s important to consider your individual needs, it’s worth looking into if you’re already considering the process.
Whether you choose to surrogate for someone you know personally or make a brand new connection through the process, surrogacy can have so many meaningful benefits for you and your family to experience on the journey.
1. Giving Back Together
One of the primary benefits of surrogacy is contributing something positive to a family looking expand just like yours. This can be a great personal experience for you, but no experience happens in a vacuum, especially ones as encompassing as pregnancy. Your family will experience the surrogacy together, and while most of the credit and intensity still does belong to you you are the pregnant one, after all this is a process of giving back that the whole family can be a part of.
When your kids ask questions about where the baby is going, engage in discussions with them about why this process is important for someone to have a family just like yours and become a mommy or daddy. Know that the experience you, your partner and your kids share in this pregnancy is for someone to experience the joys of parenthood you know and love.
If you’re doing it for a close friend or family member, these feelings will often be intensified. You love the surrogate parents or family, and you’re helping them achieve their dream of raising a family. Talk with your kids about how this baby will one day be their little cousin or playmate soon.
2. The Pregnancy Experience
There are plenty of mothers out there who just love being pregnant, and if that’s you, surrogacy might be the perfect way to experience that magical glow from the inside out, even if you’re not ready to add another baby to your own family just yet. Pregnancy can be such a beautiful, rewarding experience for you physically and mentally. While it isn’t for everybody, there are some people with the body chemistry to feel totally elated during pregnancy, so why not seek it out?
Sharing a pregnancy with your kids is also a unique and special experience. If you only have one child or your kids were too young at the time of your last pregnancy to remember much, being pregnant around them can clue them into the awareness of what it was like to have them inside your belly. They can get to know what it’s like to be around you during a totally different stage of life and this can help you build a deeper bond together.
3. Building Strong Connections
Whether you’re choosing to surrogate for someone you know or a brand new family, the surrogacy process can bring you even closer and build new connections in your lives. Family connections are deep and important, and it’s possible to grow them at any time. You can even start the surrogacy process during COVID-19, which can bring connection in a time where people are feeling disconnected.
People routinely make lifelong friends or grow even closer to individuals already in their lives through the surrogacy process. You know you’ll have someone to support you through the process, just like intended parents know they have you for support. It’s a mutual bond that brings so much to everyone’s lives.
4. Funding Your Goals
Unless you’re choosing to go with altruistic surrogacy, which means the surrogate isn’t paid beyond the costs directly associated with pregnancy, you’ll likely make a bit of money from the situation. The compensation will vary between locations, families and agencies, but you can expect something in the tens of thousands most times. This money can help fund your family’s future and experiences together in so many ways.
Whether you put some of it away for your child’s future college expenses, pay off debt or use it towards a down payment on a house, surrogacy can help build your family’s financial future.
5. The Big Questions
Sharing this life-giving experience with your family can bring up a lot of meaningful topics and discussions from your partner, your kids and even yourself. Kids as young as four can begin to question everything around them, and this can lead to opportunities for learning, growth and development. Discuss where they came from as babies, the process of how life begins, plans for the future and everything in between. Perhaps this process will begin conversations and exploration you never expected before.
Surrogacy is a beautiful journey for everyone involved, including the family of the surrogate herself. When you choose to embark on this rewarding adventure, you’ll find connections all around you.
I’m a 20-something stay-at-home mother and wife. I have an amazing husband, a beautiful daughter, two loving dogs, and a lazy cat. I wouldn’t change my life for anything! I love to read, listen to music, cook and blog!
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