Children between the age of 1 and 3 are adorable for many reasons. They stop cooing and start speaking. They stop toddling and start walking independently. Parents are still extremely important for their regular development. That’s why you should spend a lot of time with your kids during this period.
But it’s important to know that this is also a period of intensive emotional and cognitive development. In reality, thisincludes a lot of strong reactions and challenging situations for parents. The most demanding behavioral patterns in this period are temper tantrums uncontrolled mixed outbursts of rage, sadness, dissatisfaction, and other emotions. Here’s what we think that parents can do to handle such reactions at children’s benefits.
- Anticipate potential meltdowns
Prevention is one of the best solutions for handling temper tantrums. If you’ve noticed a certain pattern by which your toddler starts screaming, crying or throwing things, don’t expose him or her to such situations. For instance, toddlers who experience such conditions often melt down during celebrations, birthday parties and similar social contexts. They usually can’t emotionally handle a large number of visual, auditive, and emotional stimuli.
This is where parents need to play a protective role.
Still, it doesn’t mean that you should keep your kid isolated. That could make things worse. So, your kid should spend time with other children and visit such events, but under your supervision. When you see that a tantrum could happen soon, let your kid make a break from a potentially overwhelming activity. Let them have a cookie or a glass of water/juice. You can even go out for a few minutes and talk about or doing something interesting and joyful. If this hot-tempered brain cools down a bit, you’ll significantly decrease the risk of intensive tantrums.
- Talk to your kid
Closely related to the previous example, it’s important to talk to your kid about these situations. Even when they’re only one year old, they understand our body language, the tone with which we address them, and some words, as well.
However, stay aware that talking to your kid and explaining why they’re going through a tantrum is something that should be done after you’ve managed to calm your kid down. The same goes for adults when somebody is in the middle of an emotional affect, there’s no use talking to them at its peak.
So, wait for your kid to get back to his/her regular state and then talk things out. The part with talking things out is very important. Kids who don’t get proper explanation or support during such episodes show a tendency towards repeating the same pattern all over again.
In addition to clarifying the causes and effects of the tantrum after it’s finished, you should bring this topic up one or two days after it happened. By mentioning this situation to your kid in a relaxed and unrelated context, you’ll make him/her think about it in a neutral way. Even though the word think might look too serious for such little kids, you shouldn’t underestimate the power of their reasoning. The more you talk to them, the more they grasp and adapt.
- Meet your kids’ and your own needs
Some parents react to their kids’ tantrums by melting down even more than the kids themselves. Different behavioral patterns and physiological reasons lie behind such reactions.
What you should always be aware of is that your outburst is the last thing that your kid needs during a tantrum.
Of course, it’s not always easy to react adequately and stay calm while trying to ease up those reactions.
Every person is different, and some parents simply have a lower threshold when it comes to emotional durability.
What you can do, though, is to make sure that both you and your kid(s) have eaten well, that you’ve drunk enough of water, and that you’re wearing comfortable clothes. If you’re hungry, thirsty or you’re feeling too hot/too cold, you’re more likely to react in an explosive way.
Unresolved problems between partners/parents are also some of common causes of emotional explosions. So, do your best to handle those issues on the sport, instead of keeping it inside. We all have stress at work and in traffic, so try to reduce the level of stress generation within the family.
- Breathe, explain, take a break
When facing a tantrum, parents should apply some anger management breathing techniques. When your brain doesn’t get enough oxygen, your mental space for proper reactions is getting narrower.
We’ve already mentioned how important it is to talk to your children when things calm down. But make sure not to make your kid feel guilty for their reaction. If some other kids are involved in this situation, sometimes it’s good to talk to their parents, as well. Every kid experiencing a temper tantrum should feel that he/she is not alone and that it’s only a temporary condition. Of course, we’re not talking about rude behavior, but only about typical temper tantrums.
If you feel that you can’t handle the situation and that you might start shouting at the kid or simply lose it, take a break. This means that you should to go to another room or go out for a few minutes, to calm down. Your partner or any other present person can take over while you’re out.
- Expose your kid to other people
There’s no doubt that kids should spend a lot of time with their parents. However, toddlers and little children who spend all their time with their parent(s) aren’t accustomed to handling issues outside of this context. Such kids might experience a tantrum for simple reasons, e.g. when some other kid takes away their toy or doing any other thing that your kid will understand as an attack.
This is why you should let your kid stay with the grandparents, uncles, aunts, and to hang out with your friends’ kids. Children should go to the kindergarten or nursery, as well. As explained by the childcare experts from a UK governess agency, kids who spend more time with their kids learn how to handle some situations on their own. So, instead of the feeling of frustration when they can’t resolve a problem, they feel satisfaction because of the accomplishment.
That’s why parents should find a balance for their kids to spend time with different people.
Parents are only humans at we can’t react to every single problem by the book. But we can do is to develop certain parental and behavioral patterns that will give us enough patience and energy to help our kids. But when you see that your kid is going to slip into a temper tantrum, do everything that you can do resolve the problem peacefully and patiently.
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AuthorBio: Anne Harris is an HR specialist working for londongoverness.com. She recruits nannies, governesses and other childcare professionals, ensuring top-notch services for parents worldwide. In her free time she likes reading about education, and children’s welfare, as well as visiting sports events.
I’m a 20-something stay-at-home mother and wife. I have an amazing husband, a beautiful daughter, two loving dogs, and a lazy cat. I wouldn’t change my life for anything! I love to read, listen to music, cook and blog!
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