Sharing feelings, even with the people closest to you, is not always easy. It takes a lot of courage to open up, especially if you aren’t used to being vulnerable. There are many ways you can start being more sincere with your significant other for example, the written practice. Writing for sharing your emotions can help you get through to your spouse and stabilize your relationship. Here’s how writing can help you share feelings with your spouse.
Why Is It Worth Sharing Your Feelings with Your Spouse?
First, you need to understand why it is so important to share your feelings with your spouse. It’s not just about getting across your feelings it’s also about understanding theirs. Here are some benefits you can expect to get:
- Become Better Friends: You will become better friends with your spouse by talking through all the necessary points.
- Communicate More Openly: You will be able to communicate more openly and not be afraid to voice your fears, concerns, victories, etc.
- Solve Conflicts Peacefully: You will start solving conflicts peacefully instead of escalating them.
- Make Exchanges More Meaningful: You will make your exchanges more meaningful and valuable to both of you.
- Encourage Them to Open Up to You: You will encourage your spouse to open up to you just as much as you open up to them.
When Should You Write Down Your Feelings?
But when exactly should you be writing down your feelings? There are several particular situations when writing them down is the best option:
- When You Are Upset: When you are upset, you will probably have a reason for feeling that way. Make sure to write down exactly what you’re feeling and why.
- When You Are Thankful: When you are thankful or happy, you will also be feeling very strong emotions which is why it is so important to write them down.
- When You Don’t Know What to Say: There will be moments when you don’t know what to say for whatever reason. Try to put it into your own words and write it down.
- When You Are Thinking About Your Spouse: Directly thinking about your significant other can be a good indicator that you are feeling something, so write these feelings down.
#1 Get into The Right Mindset
The first thing you should do is get into the right mindset. You need to accept that both your feelings and your spouse’s are neither right nor wrong. You need to realize that feelings come and go as well as change quickly or gradually. And, of course, you shouldn’t judge each other’s feelings and rather try to understand them as much as possible.
#2 Describe Your Feelings
Next, you need to describe your feelings. You can talk about them, but it’s better to start by writing them down in different ways. Don’t be afraid to describe your feelings in detail this will only help you better describe what you want to communicate to your spouse. In other words, the whole point of writing them down is to be able to describe them correctly so your significant other understands what you mean.
#3 Name Your Feelings Correctly
One thing you should do correctly is naming your feelings. If you misname them, your spouse might get the wrong idea. Once again, the whole point of describing your feelings in writing is to convey what you are feeling. That’s why using the right words is crucial for you to succeed.
#4 Distinguish Thoughts from Feelings
While writing, you need to try to distinguish thoughts from feelings. There will be emotions mixed in too, but they are similar to your feelings. Thoughts, on the other hand, are different. You might be thinking logically and rationally, but your feelings could be different. For example, you could be feeling jealous even though your mind is telling you that there is nothing to be jealous about. However, you still need to connect your thoughts and feelings for the whole picture.
#5 Share Your Deeper Feelings
One thing you can try to do is share your deeper feelings. Of course, starting out with surface-level feelings is great, but try to go deeper and explore what your actual feelings are underneath all of that. For example, that jealousy you are feeling might be the result of your insecurity about yourself. Working it out with your partner is the best thing you can do.
#6 Express Yourself and Listen to Your Spouse
While writing and then talking with your spouse, you need to express yourself but you should also listen to your spouse. Your conversation can only be a conversation when both of you are actively listening and actively expressing themselves. Otherwise, you might end up with an unresolved conflict that you had set out to settle in the first place.
#7 Explore Different Methods of Writing
Writing is not as one-layered as it may seem. There are different methods of writing you need to explore to truly master the art and craft of communicating your feelings to your spouse. Here are just some of the ways you can write down your feelings:
- Handwritten Letters: You can write these randomly or you can include them with the gifts you present to your spouse.
- Emails: You can send these when you are away from your significant other and want to reach them in a meaningful way.
- Journaling: You can keep a journal or a diary to document all your feelings and then let your spouse read it to understand you better.
- Notes: You can leave notes for your spouse from time to time about anything and everything.
- Social Media: You can write social media posts for your profile when you want to show everyone how much you love your spouse.
#8 Be Vulnerable and Improve Your Relationship
Being vulnerable is not easy, but it is one of the most essential aspects of communicating your emotions through writing. If you want to improve your relationship with your spouse, you will need to open up and be sincere. Don’t hesitate to express your feelings the way they are it’s about building trust and loyalty.
#9 Practice Expressing Your Feelings
Instead of writing down your feelings once, practice expressing them regularly. Don’t just consider this a one-time session make it a recurring experience for the two of you. After all, communication is crucial throughout your entire relationship, not just at the most critical periods. That’s why you need to discuss your feelings at least from time to time.
#10 Consider Other Ways to Share Your Feelings
Last but not least, consider other ways to share your feelings. Writing and talking are great, but you can also create personal gifts for each other, spend time together, work together, and so on. Don’t just discard those other ways of sharing your feelings. Instead, use them just as often to make your communication even better.
Final Thoughts
All in all, writing can definitely help you get better at expressing your emotions. Use the tips in this article to get started and guide you as you start developing your relationship with your spouse by sharing your feelings with them.
Bio
This article was written by Ana Mayer, a project manager with 3+ years of experience. While projects can do without her participation (which means almost never), she likes to read and create expert academic materials for the Online Writers Rating, Best Writers Online review website. Such work gives her the opportunity to write articles on the most relevant topics of today.
I’m a 20-something stay-at-home mother and wife. I have an amazing husband, a beautiful daughter, two loving dogs, and a lazy cat. I wouldn’t change my life for anything! I love to read, listen to music, cook and blog!
Speak Your Mind