Trauma can come in all shapes and sizes, and that means that you might find yourself having a variety of experiences that color your life, including your birth experience. While many people look at birth as an experience that should be blissful and magical, other standards might have you go into childbirth expecting trauma. No matter what standards you might feel like you need to lean on, trauma can make a big impact on your life, and you deserve to process and heal however works best for you.
No matter what your experience has been like, trauma is a natural response in the brain to any stressful or uncommon situation. Trauma comes from the same place in the brain as regular stress, just amplified. This means that everyone responds in different ways, and that healing and thriving after trauma is absolutely possible. While different techniques might work for different moms, here are a few ways you can work towards thriving after a traumatic birth experience.
- Lean On Your Support System
Whenever someone experiences a traumatic event no matter what that trauma is it’s important to lean on a support system. Whether your partner, friends, family or all of the above make themselves available to help you out, having anyone in your corner can make a huge difference.
- Follow Doctor’s (or Doula or Midwife) Orders
If your birth experience was traumatic both emotionally and physically which is highly possible, as many people have taxing or stressful childbirth experiences make sure you’re healing however your birthing team has advised you to. If your doctor told you to stay off your feet, listen to them. If your midwife or doula gave you a specific healing protocol, be sure to follow it. If you want more medical opinions, be sure to seek those out, too.
- Practice Self Care
Self care is important no matter what you’re going through, but it can be especially important after a trauma. Self care looks different for everyone, so do whatever works best for you and find exactly what you need. Self care isn’t a perfect science, but it is about helping you heal.
- Connect With Others With Similar Experiences
Whether you find a support group, an online community or even talk to others around you that you know from life, connecting with people and sharing your experiences is a part of the healing process. While, of course, your personal circle and support system will always be there to help you through things, being around people who know your experience can help you feel a bit less alone and remind yourself that you can thrive. It’s important to remember that trauma can happen to anyone, and that you are never alone.
- Try Therapy
Whether you’ve tried therapy in the past or this would be your first time, seeing a mental health professional can be a great way to take a step towards success when healing any trauma. If you already have a therapist you’re comfortable with, you can open up to them and work with them about this experience. If you don’t, you can find someone who specializes in what you’re going through.
- Accept Help for Practical Tasks
If you feel physically exhausted and worn, that is completely understandable and normal. Even if the people around you don’t understand what you’re going through completely, one of the ways they can offer assistance is through practical tasks. Helping out with the baby, cooking for you and cleaning things every now and then can go a long way. Ask those around you for help!
- Connect With Your Baby
Childbirth has one universal upside you get to meet and spend time with your little one! Make sure that you take the time to cherish this experience. Spend time with your baby and truly connect with them. Not only will this help you heal and thrive after your birth experience, but it will also begin to lay the foundation for positive experiences all along the way.
- Make Sure You Rest
One of the most important things you can do after you have a traumatic birth experience is to truly allow yourself to rest. Whether your doctor explicitly prescribes it and they usually will the time after giving birth is a vulnerable time, and you need to allow yourself to rest and recuperate both mentally and physically. When you allow yourself to rest, you can fully thrive.
Thriving After a Traumatic Birth
Trauma impacts people in all different ways, and no matter what kind of birth experience you had, you can process and thrive. Everyone processes trauma differently, and no matter what methods you use to get back to a better mental space, always remember that you’re not alone and that you have people who love and care about you. From following your doctor’s instructions to finding others to help you with the emotional load, there are so many ways to thrive after a traumatic birth.
I’m a 20-something stay-at-home mother and wife. I have an amazing husband, a beautiful daughter, two loving dogs, and a lazy cat. I wouldn’t change my life for anything! I love to read, listen to music, cook and blog!
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