Love conquers all, right? That’s what we’re told anyway. But what happens when something as fundamentally important as religion creates a potential barrier in a relationship?
On paper, there a number of reasons why a religious-atheist relationship shouldn’t really work. After all, faith often underpins our identities, moulding who we are and how we tackle the complexities of our day-to-day lives. So, putting two ends of the religious spectrum alongside one another is only likely to end in tears or is it?
The heart wants what it wants. That means, if you fall in love with someone, you’ll do what it takes to make sure that you stay well clear of a divorce specialists. Putting everything into perspective, maintaining a relationship with someone who holds the opposite religious beliefs is entirely possible; it will just take plenty of patience, understanding and empathy.
In this post, we’ll be taking a closer look at the steps you can take to make sure that a religious-atheist relationship goes the distance!
6 Tips to Make Sure that a Religious-Atheist Relationship Works
- Be Kind and Considerate
This is a given for any relationship, regardless of whether it’s an inter-faith relationship or, in this case, a religious-atheist relationship. If you start this sort of relationship, you need to make sure that you’re always kind and empathetic, making sure to accommodate your partner’s needs wherever possible.
For example, if your partner wants to attend church and you’re an atheist, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t let them! And, on the other hand, if you’re religious, you shouldn’t push your partner to attend church against their will.
This is only likely to create unnecessary animosity. So, be considerate to your other partner’s beliefs and factor that into the separate decisions you make while you’re a couple.
- Don’t Assume You’ll Convert’ Their Faith
You should never go into a relationship with someone who’s religious, or vice versa, assuming that you’ll somehow be able to convert them to your way of thinking. It goes without saying, but that could be perceived as toxic behaviour, even if you have the best of intentions.
If you end up spending your time lecturing them about why they should convert their faith or forcing them to do things they’re not comfortable with, the relationship is going to immediately become strained.
This all comes into the idea of being empathetic when you’re in a relationship. Yes, people do change their minds when it comes to their faith, but you shouldn’t assume that you can force their hand and change their mind for them.
- Appreciate that Certain Matters are Non-Negotiable
Compromise is one the key components to any successful relationship. There are always going to be small disagreements in any couple, and the key to overcoming them tends to be a willingness to occasionally compromise.
In religious-atheist relationships, compromise may be required even more frequently. For instance, someone who is religious may only want to get married in a church or will want your children to be baptised. For the relationship to work, you’ll need to be prepared for some matters to be non-negotiable!
In the majority of cases, the non-religious/atheist person in the relationship will have to compromise more often than their religious significant other. But, that isn’t to say the relationship will always be one sided. As we all know, no two relationships are the same.
- Communicate Clearly
Effective communication can make or break a couple’s relationship. From the very outset, it’s important for both parties to clearly communicate what their religious beliefs are, how their religion affects their day-to-day lives, and what they expect from their significant other.
That way, there’s much less chance that your wires will become crossed, or that you’ll misinterpret what you both want from a relationship.
You can then start to decide what works for you both in the relationship, defining your very own rules and culture. It’s always possible to be dedicated to your own beliefs while also maintaining a healthy relationship.
- Consider Couple’s Therapy
At first, some people mistakenly think that there needs to be a specific trigger that causes you to head to couple’s counselling. However, that couldn’t be further from the truth. You can attend at any point even if your relationship is currently very solid.
Many couples turn to therapy as a way of saving their relationship when things are on the rocks. But it could be much more beneficial to use couple’s therapy as a preventative measure to help a relationship that’s in its infancy.
There are plenty of potential questions that a couple’s therapist could pose to you which will allow you to explore the details of your relationship. It’ll help you to address how you interact as two people with opposing beliefs. Oftentimes, these questions aren’t ones you would necessarily think of yourselves.
- Focus on What You Do Share in Common
No relationship will stand the test of time if you are both obsessed with focusing on what you don’t have in common. So, always remember to do the opposite whenever you can focus on what you do have in common!
It’s very unlikely that you’ll fall in love with someone without already having something in common. Surely you already share some hobbies and interests, or something more general like your personalities?
Lean on these commonalities and you’ll quickly find that your different religious beliefs will be nothing more than an inconsequential inconvenience!
Are You in a Religious-Atheist Relationship?
So, there you have it! As we touched on earlier, no relationship is ever perfect, and there are bound to be a number of bumps in the road. That said, there is no reason why differing religious beliefs should pose an issue.
Are you currently in a religious-atheist relationship? Do you have any tips of your own that you think would be beneficial for anyone who is just starting a similar relationship? Feel free to leave a comment down below so we can keep the discussion going!
I’m a 20-something stay-at-home mother and wife. I have an amazing husband, a beautiful daughter, two loving dogs, and a lazy cat. I wouldn’t change my life for anything! I love to read, listen to music, cook and blog!
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