For many children, their first experiences with grief are losing a family pet. This can be particularly tough on young ones, because pets are playmates, companions and incredible sources of comfort.
When a pet unfortunately passes away, parents are inevitably faced with all sorts of difficult questions. It’s no secret how tough it can be on parents when it comes to explaining what death is in an age-appropriate way that also feels gentle and honest.
We recently got in touch with the pet cremation experts in Springfield, Ohio at Jackson, Lytle & Lewis to get a deeper glimpse into what exactly parents should do during these tough scenarios, and we learned a lot that all parents should keep in mind when they have aging or recently deceased pets.
So, check out the below sections to see how you should speak to your children after losing your household’s furry friend:
Start With Honest, Simple Language
Clarity is always one the most important factors when talking with your kids about losing a pet.
Using obscure phrases like “ran away” or “went to sleep” can inadvertently create all sorts of unnecessary fear and confusion. That’s why parents should instead explain how their pet’s body stopped working, and that they unfortunately died. You don’t have to get detailed with this type of explanation, but you do need to be forthright and truthful.
It’s no secret how children process information based on their age, so be sure that you’re using simple words and always allow them to ask questions that they have on their mind. If they say they want to know more details, answer honestly and calmly without being overwhelming.
Explaining The Meaning Behind Pet Cremation
It’s perfectly normal for the general concept of pet cremation to be unfamiliar and new for children. When you’re explaining it, try to focus on the ideas of respect and care more than anything else.
A good example of this would be to say how the cremation process is a way of taking care of the pet’s body after they die, and it also helps to keep their memory close by.
For young children, a good starting point could be to compare it to something they already understand well. This could include how your family chooses to say goodbye differently than other families.
Just be sure to avoid any graphic details when explaining pet cremation to kids, and always emphasize how the process is handled thoughtfully and gently.
Let Your Kids Freely Express Their Feelings
Grief tends to showcase itself in all sorts of different forms, including anger, sadness, confusion and silence.
Always be sure to allow your kids to know that it’s ok no matter what they’re feeling after the loss of a pet. A lot of kids will immediately start crying, whereas other might seem initially unaffected—until they begin reacting later on.
Encourage your children to talk about their feelings, but at the same time, don’t try to force the conversation. Writing notes to the pet, drawing pictures, and sharing favorite memories can all go a long way to help children process these tough emotions in ways that feel more natural to them.
Involving Your Children When Saying Goodbye To Your Pet
It’s also a great idea to include your kids in the goodbye process in ways that help them develop closure.
This could include letting them help plan a memorial service, deciding where to place a cremation urn keepsake, or simply saying a few words. When your family chooses pet cremation, you can consider scattering the pet’s ashes, creating a memory box, or displaying an urn in a prominent part of your home.
But by simply giving your kids a meaningful role when saying goodbye to your furry friend, you can help make their personal experience much more meaningful and less overwhelming.
Carefully Answering Common Pet Cremation Questions
It’s normal for kids to have sometimes unexpectedly direct questions. For instance, they could be wondering if the pet was hurt or scared. They also might want to know what happens after death for all of us.
In these situations, parents should answer honestly and gently. And just remember that it’s fine to say that you don’t know everything.
If your child asks generally about death, try to keep their focus on reassurances. Let them know that you’re here to take care of them and keep them safe, and your family will help other people when they’re hurting.
Keeping Your Pet’s Memory Alive After Death
The conversation doesn’t have to end after you’re done talking with your kids about pet cremation, because it’s often just the beginning stage of your pet’s long-term remembrance.
Always be sure to inspire your kids to look at photos, share stories, and celebrate your pet’s life in all sorts of small ways that are unique to your family. This could include planting flowers, lighting a candle, or creating a scrapbook that helps turn your family’s grief into powerful commemoration.
This type of ongoing remembrance will assist your children in terms of better understanding that although their pet is gone, the love they have for their pet will always remain in their hearts.
Leading Through Pet Loss With Patience & Compassion
There’s no denying how every child grieves differently after losing a pet, and there’s no specific timeline when it comes to this type of healing.
But by listening closely, speaking openly, and broaching the pet cremation topic with the utmost compassion, parents can do a great job at helping their kids to healthily navigate loss.
It’s never easy to say goodbye to a pet, but it can also be a learning opportunity to allow your kids to understand memory, love, and the overall importance of honoring those who are no longer with us.
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