There’s been something going on for over a year now that has been bothering me, and I’ve been meaning to write this post about it, but just haven’t gotten around to it. Plus, I haven’t figured out how to really word it. But, I figured I would try it now.
My question is – how can people lie, cheat, steal, or do anything that’s considered a sin, and still go sit in church every weekend and think that because God forgives them, it’s okay? I know there’s “forgiveness,” but it just doesn’t make any sense to me, honestly. People steal and be little someone, and then go to church with their head held high because, oh, that’s right – God forgives them.
This is the main reason I have trouble going to church – because of people like this. I know I’m not perfect – but there’s people out there who do things that are even worse than I do and yet, there they are every weekend and forget, or don’t even think, about the wrongdoings they did their family, friends, co-workers, etc. Just how is this right? God did not intend for forgiveness to just be a free for all – do/say/act however you please, and it makes it okay.
When it has to do with people (outside of church), the people who have done wrong on me, I forgive them (whether they think I do or not). But I do not forget, and I REFUSE to let them hurt me or my family ever again. If someone can hurt you and/or your family so badly, why give them the chance? Just because you don’t go back to them and be buddy-buddy or whatever, doesn’t mean that you haven’t forgiven what they did. It just means that you are refusing yourself the chance of being hurt again. And there is nothing wrong with that at all. The other people may not agree, but that’s their own problem. You need to protect yourself and the ones you love first. If you do not forgive the people who do you wrong, then you just let anger build up, and that’s not healthy for anyone. You need to move on with your life.
I’m a 20-something stay-at-home mother and wife. I have an amazing husband, a beautiful daughter, two loving dogs, and a lazy cat. I wouldn’t change my life for anything! I love to read, listen to music, cook and blog!
Well, at least if we’re in church (‘we’ being sinners) there is more and more chance for the word of God to take root and help us make the changes we all need or could use.
My thing is the opposite… why do I get called a hypocrite the first time I do something someone else doesn’t like? It used to really, really bother me, but I’m getting better with it, knowing that I can’t be perfect, and I can’t please everyone, but I do my best to please God.
But what about the adults that have sinned all their life? Shouldn’t they have learned the word of God already and not be doing the things they do? That’s what I just don’t understand.
The people who call you a hypocrite have no authority to judge, really, because I’m sure they do bad things as well. We all do. But we’re all very quick to judge, unfortunately. It’s human nature.
OK I’m sure there’s lots more to the story–but if sinners we’re aloowerd to go to church the place would be empty. But you totaly right—FORGIVENESS is not to be taken lightly…but GOD’s keeping record, just because people can put on a good face once a week-HE SEE the HEART.
Yeah, believe me, there’s a whole lot more to the story. You are right – church would be empty if sinners weren’t allowed. Which, I’m not saying they shouldn’t be. I’m just disgusted with how some people act holy just because they go to church when they do terrible things while not there.
Well, I completely agree with you, and get bothered the same way. I also have trouble with the forgiveness part too.
I totally get what you mean, and not just in church. The only thing I can think of in those situations is, “What would Jesus do?” To the people who didn’t know any better, He showed them a better way, and if they took it and asked for forgiveness, He gave it to them, like the woman who was about to be stoned. But to the people who knew better He didn’t seem to show much mercy, like the vendors in the holy temple. I can only find peace when I look at Him, and no one else (the “waves”), because I would just sink! Like someone said, maybe if they go to church enough they will change. Let’s hope and pray for that!
Maybe, for some, if they know they are forgiven by God, then it makes it easier to forgive themselves. And forgiveness, although not a “free for all” as you’ve described, is free. For all. Regardless of their sins. And that’s part of the beauty.
I know exactly what you mean.
They’re called hypocrites and psychopaths. People who can sin to their heart’s content and still put on a smile for church. This is where the psychopath part comes into play. Because a psychopath is defined as a person with an antisocial personality disorder, manifested in aggressive, perverted, criminal, or amoral behavior without empathy or remorse, which is exactly what you’re going through. Sure, they might not be fully-blown criminals, but they don’t have to be in order to be considered a psychopath, which is what most people think.
Not only do they not feel any type of remorse for what they’re doing (at least it doesn’t seem like it), but they feel all holier than now at church, acting as if nothing is wrong. If whomever you’re talking about really believes in the religion they go to church every week to practice, they would stop committing the same sins over and over. I suspect that something psychological is going on.
You couldn’t be anymore dead on, Caitlin. It’s really sad that people have to act the way they do. They need to move on with their lives. It’s not like I didn’t try. I did a couple of times. But it was never good enough. So, my family and I have moved on – and we are so happy without them. Too bad they can’t move on and make themselves happy – first they would have to admit they have a problem, which if they haven’t done so by now, they more than likely won’t.
You are only forgiven for your sins, if when you ask for forgiveness, you really mean it and try as hard as you can to not repeat them. Yes, we are all sinners, but you can’t go on and on repeating those sins, and saying mean things to people. I live in a Bible belt and I used to listen to women at work going on and on about something that was happening at church. One woman would sit at her desk while we were all working and she’d cry because she didn’t get to play the piano at church that Sunday. Really? I don’t think her name was written all over that piano. It is enough to make you not want to go, but just remember, you are not going for them and you don’t have to answer for their sins someday. I was raised Greek Orthodox because I’m Greek LOL. The priests couldn’t speak English and I couldn’t speak that much Greek. I still knew I was in church and when I kissed the icons, took communion (Greeks get to have real wine and unleavened bread for communion), and I listened to my grandfather and another well-known Greek in town chant while the priest was blessing the communion, I didn’t have to understand one word. I just felt so good after the church service and after fasting for three days so we could take communion. I looked forward to the next week. It was for ME and no one else. Also, not every church is for you. Visit other churches and you may find the perfect one with members who really care about you. They are out there.
My husband feels pretty much the same way you do, and refuses to go to church unless the kids are involved in a play or something….not that I’ve been to church in quite some time! It is a very easy habit to get out of I’m afraid. We have recently moved, so I am going to start looking for a new church, and for me, that is finding one I feel comfortable in. Whoever else that is there or not there is irrelevant. Yes, we are all sinners, and no, I don’t believe just ‘going through the motions’ grants you forgiveness in God’s eyes. However, he will be the ultimate judge, and we have to do what we feel is best for us, our beliefs, and for our children. But yes, those ‘holier than thou’ types who sin every day of the week, but are at church whenever the doors open…are very annoying and frustrating, but as I said, I believe their Judgement Day will come. I think you are brave for writing this post and putting your thoughts our there! I’m sure people have had plenty to say…but we live in a wonderful country that honors Freedom of Speech. Can I get a HELL YEAH?! hahaha Better go to church tomorrow 😉