For many families, the idea of dealing with teen pregnancy is almost unthinkable. If you’re parents and you have a young daughter, you might want to think that she’ll only become sexually active once she is an adult. However, teen hormones often run wild, and sexual encounters occur, even among teens who you might feel would never do something like that.
If you have a teen daughter who becomes pregnant, that can impact the whole family. Let’s talk about dealing with this situation, which is sure to be difficult for your pregnant teenager.
Deciding Whether or Not to Have the Baby
Your daughter will first need to decide whether she is going to keep the child or have an abortion. That can be a very tough decision, and some people can’t help but look at it from an ethical standpoint, particularly if they are religious.
Some religions dictate that life begins at conception. In other words, they feel like, once someone becomes pregnant, the fetus is the same as an independent human being, and they need the same protections.
Maybe your family feels that way, or perhaps they don’t. One thing is certain, though, setting religious doctrine aside for a moment: having a baby is a tremendous responsibility, and you might not think your fourteen-year-old daughter is up to it. You might feel like she should be doing her homework in the evenings, not reading up on saline mist for babies, and the best kind of diapers to get for the new arrival.
Some families decide to ignore religious doctrine because they feel like their young daughter simply is not ready to be a parent. Other families might not feel like abortion is morally wrong.
It’s a decision that parents should try to make with their daughter but remember one thing. If you try to force your daughter into either having the baby or terminating the pregnancy, and that is not what she wants, you might end up driving a wedge between you that no amount of therapy or time is ever likely to fix.
What to Do if Your Daughter Decides to Have the Child
If your daughter decides that she does want to keep the child and carry it to term, you’ll have to start having some conversations about raising the infant and caring for it. Maybe you can have a situation where the young mother can return to school, while you, the parents, help with the child-rearing during the days. That’s not going to be easy for anyone, but some families are able to do it successfully.
You might feel like you can homeschool your daughter, so she’s able to get her GED when the time comes. In the meantime, she can handle most of raising the child.
Getting a GED is not quite the same as having a high school diploma, but it’s better than nothing. There will certainly be additional challenges for everyone in the family if your teen daughter does decide to have the baby. Still, families do sometimes successfully use this model, so it is definitely possible if you all commit yourself to it.
What to Do if Your Daughter Wants an Abortion
If your daughter decides that she does not want to carry the child to term, and you’re willing to help her get an abortion, you’ll have to figure out where there is a clinic that will do that for her. You’ll want to find one that has an excellent reputation, so your daughter does not resort to unsafe means to try and end the pregnancy.
In some states, getting an abortion is very difficult. There are few clinics that will do it, and some states have very strict laws about when a mother can abort the child.
If you do happen to live in one of these states, you might need to travel so that your daughter can get an abortion. You’ll need to do some research to figure out the best place to take her and when the best time is to do so.
If your teen daughter gets pregnant, it might seem like a calamity at first. The one thing you should try to do is continue loving and supporting her, regardless of what she decides to do. She is still your daughter, and she might not have made the most prudent decision, but, as a responsible parent, your obligation is to help her as best you can.
I’m a 20-something stay-at-home mother and wife. I have an amazing husband, a beautiful daughter, two loving dogs, and a lazy cat. I wouldn’t change my life for anything! I love to read, listen to music, cook and blog!
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