Families. Love them or hate them, there’s no disputing the fact that as we get older, families can easily drift apart. It’s easy to feel closer as a family when you’re living together and relying on one another, but as the years go by, that sense of reliance can fade away. That’s a loss for everyone, and it’s more important than ever that we take the time to keep our loved ones as close as possible. Whether you still live with your family but you barely communicate, or you’ve moved away and now speak a lot less often than you used to, here are some ideas for how to grow closer as a family.
Take Time To Talk
It’s a simple fact that if you only speak to someone a few times a year, then you’ll only ever hear about the biggest events in their lives. If you take the time to talk to your family members more regularly, either in person or via regular phone calls, then you’ll get a lot more of the details. This is one of the best ways to grow closer as a family. Learning about the wins (and the losses) of any given day, you’ll naturally start to feel more involved in one another’s lives. It can be hard to pick up the phone to talk to someone, and it’s all too easy to rely on texts or emails. If you struggle with those phone calls, try to plan them for when you’re doing a mindless task, such as ironing or on the walk to work.
The Family Tree
Your parents lived a full life long before you came along, as did their parents and theirs. You may have gotten snippets about their adventures before parenthood, but the further back you look and the deeper that you look into the offshoots of your family tree like uncles and aunts, the more of those fascinating stories you can find. Start with quick chats about their first jobs or the types of toys that they loved as kids (this is particularly good to ask the older generations). If you find that you’re growing more and more interested in this closer look at the history of your family, then you can maybe even go all out and use one of the many family tree/ancestry sites that are now so popular.
Help During Turbulent Times
Growing closer as a family isn’t always going to be easy. Life can throw some very unwelcome surprises at us, and those surprises can land at any time. If someone in your family needs help, make sure that you have practical, helpful solutions. Interventions, for example, can be a very valuable process if a loved one is suffering from addiction or mental health issues. From a teenager experimenting with drugs to family members struggling with life or their marriage, options such as therapy or supportive companioning can be extremely worthwhile. You may not be able to be all of the help that they need, especially if they are going through something that you have a limited understanding of. It’s crucial that you make sure they have access to any addiction coaching, therapeutic mentoring, and teen mentoring services that might be needed. You never know what your family members are going through silently, but by helping them and being there for them when they most need it, you will help create a more unbreakable bond. Mental health or addiction issues can reinforce feelings of distance between family members. Ensuring that your loved ones get the help they need when they need it can strengthen family bonds.
Never Underestimate Photos
Text messages are very easy, and not everyone is comfortable talking on the phone. It can be a struggle during a phone call to keep the conversation going because you have little in the way of body language cues. However, if communication is a struggle for you and your family members, sending photos is one of the best alternatives. The old adage of a picture being worth a thousand words has never been truer than when an elderly relative finally gets to see pictures of the newest members of the family. Try to send photos as often as you can as your way of staying in touch, and you’ll find that the family will come together much more naturally, even if you rarely speak on the phone.
Get Advice
When you ask your family members for advice, what you’re telling them is that you trust their judgment and value their opinion. You don’t have to go all out and ask them about your relationships if that kind of subject makes you feel uncomfortable. Simple life choices, like what dress to wear, what car to buy, or whether they think that you’re ready to move out of the family home, are all basic areas to chat about. When families drift apart, finding conversation can be a challenge, but everyone loves giving advice, and it could be the key to growing closer.
By growing closer, you and your family could become a more cohesive unit and the support network that will only benefit your life.
I’m a 20-something stay-at-home mother and wife. I have an amazing husband, a beautiful daughter, two loving dogs, and a lazy cat. I wouldn’t change my life for anything! I love to read, listen to music, cook and blog!
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