You’ve spent the last 18 years or more loving, nurturing, and providing for your children. You made sure they had three square meals a day, a roof over their heads, and clothes on their back. You spent your last to put them through college so that they could make something of themselves. You should be proud of yourself. In fact, you should give yourself a pat on the back, because raising a child is certainly a commendable action. Then, just when you start to get the hang of living on your own and pursuing your own lifelong dreams and goals, your child calls you out of the blue and asks to move back in…
Part of you is probably happy that your child wants to come back home and live with you again, however, there’s this other side of you that has simply gotten used to the idea of having an empty nest.
You can’t very well leave them homeless, but at the same time, you realize that living with an adult child will greatly differ from when you were raising them as children. So how do you allow your adult child to move back in while keeping your sanity? Below are a few suggestions on how to make the transition a smooth one.
Clearly Define Their Reason for Coming Home
Whether they’ve recently moved out of the college dorms with no place to go, don’t make enough money to sustain the daily necessities, or need a little time to get back on their feet after a major life occurrence (break-up, divorce, loss of job, or loss of a house), it will be important for you both to be on the same page. Therefore, prior to having your child move in, be sure that you sit down and have a talk with them. During this conversation you want to clearly outline their reasons for returning to the nest.
Map Out a Plan
Again, before allowing your child to move back home with you it is important to map out a plan. Allowing them to move back into the house without a clear plan could cause a lot of turmoil and strife as time goes on. While plans have a tendency to change, and some parts of the plan will rely heavily on certain circumstances, having an end game in mind is necessary to avoid conflict. Since you’ll already have an idea of what your child is coming back home for, you’ll need to consider or ask the following:
How do they plan to get on their feet?
I’m a 20-something stay-at-home mother and wife. I have an amazing husband, a beautiful daughter, two loving dogs, and a lazy cat. I wouldn’t change my life for anything! I love to read, listen to music, cook and blog!
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