Everyone conceals some information from the people they care about the most. If you are unsure where to seek them, this indicates that they have been effectively hidden. However, it will become public at some point.
Everything from incestuous relationships to adopted children, adopted children to criminal records, criminal records to suicide notes, inherited illnesses to improperly distributed inheritance is recorded and kept in the family archive, sometimes to be acted out in the most unexpected ways by future generations. When individuals accept responsibility for their actions and fulfill their financial duties, the system is able to achieve balance once again.
How Secrets are Created
Elders of the family usually make the decisions on what facts should be kept hidden, who should not be addressed, and how the truths may be bent so as to protect the emotional well-being of the younger members of the family. It’s common for families to keep more secrets in a relationship when they boast proudly about how moral and great, they are as a unit. And, in fact, when the number of secrets gets too much, the marriage often ends up in a cheap California divorce.
Sometimes individuals simply want to leave terrible memories of the past in the past and go on with their lives, and this might be the motivation for keeping a family secret. Not all family secrets entail emotions of dishonor or wrongdoing.
The sharing of information between generations, especially between parents and their children, is known as intergenerational communication. Another, more intricate way is termed transgenerational, and it takes place when individuals from different generations mysteriously pass on knowledge to one another. This term was first developed by Anne AnselinSchutzeberger, who was a psychodramatist as well as a professor at the University of Nice.
How Secrets Come Out
If we feel embarrassed by this person and don’t want anyone else to know about them or use their name, then we have a responsibility to do something for them. To make amends, the family system will attempt to have more offspring who are both physically and mentally identical to him.
The events that the husband keeps secrets and lies about had a greater emotional impact on those who were from later generations, which increases the likelihood that those events will be remembered by those generations. Especially potent are circumstances in which couples keep financial secrets and one’s feelings of loss are not adequately communicated, in which an inheritance is not distributed fairly, or in which children are abandoned.
Explainable Mysticism
There are no particular reasons for keeping a relationship secret. Despite their parents’ best efforts, children can’t help but be affected by the family’s past. The moment a parent starts changing the subject or giving vague answers, it’s a warning indication that something is awry. Sighs, eye contact, and general emotional state on specific dates are all excellent nonverbal indicators of the presence of a secret being shared.
Fathers’ darkest secrets have a way of bringing families crashing down. Fathers can’t know for sure that they’re not nurturing a rival’s child instead of their own. As a father, you owe it to your kid to show him the world you carved out of nothing and the places you conquered. But there are so many setbacks males have to face on the road!
In many cases, the mother does not know the identity of the child’s father until she sees familiar patterns in her adult son’s behavior that indicate he is not her spouse. Moreover, they often fail to tell the youngster who his biological father is. If a woman has no children with her childless husband, she is effectively responsible for the end of his family line. Her offspring may have unexplained infertility or her son may end up raising a kid who is not his biological sibling. If the dad has other children, whether, by this woman or a prior one, the issue is less complicated. Most families in this situation do not transmit “mining” down the generations. One of the first steps in escaping our ancestors’ oppressive programming is gaining an understanding of that programming. After gaining this knowledge, it is appropriate to weep, seek forgiveness, and express gratitude. As a result, the shows stop being as engaging emotionally.
How Secrets Ruin the Relationships
The majority of people are concerned about the potential outcomes that could result from telling the truth, but they give less thought to the fact that secrets are hard to keep. Keeping things to oneself can have a variety of unfavorable effects, including the following:
1) They lead people to cover up lies and make forgetful omissions in their conversations. It’s only a matter of time before the truth is exposed, and when it does, the fallout will be much more devastating than the initial cover-up. The longer that the truth is allowed to be hidden, the more difficult it will be for it to be brought to light because this casts doubt on every instance of a cover-up. Finally, it has been demonstrated that the side that was supposed to be innocent relied on and trusted the person who betrayed them the entire time.
2) They prevent a genuine relationship from taking place. Being emotionally and physically vulnerable, or “bare,” exhibits openness and honesty, two attributes that are necessary for the development of trust and, eventually, intimacy.
3) The person who is keeping the secret may have emotions of guilt or at the very least discomfort when they share intimate moments with an unfaithful spouse owing to the first two reasons listed above. Conversations regarding privacy concerns and politically fraught subjects, as a general rule, should be avoided. It’s possible that your subconscious will pull you away from your career, friends, hobbies, or even addictions. Any behavior that discourages individuals from engaging in conversation with one another. The liar will go so far as to deliberately provoke conflicts in order to create more distance between them.
4) The violation of our values not only makes us feel bad about ourselves but also drives us to act differently than we would have otherwise. We lose our sense of dignity and, eventually, our sense of who we are when we are subjected to untruths that are repeated over an extended period of time. The initial shame, which disappears after the secret is revealed, is replaced by humiliation, which undermines our fundamental respect for ourselves as human beings. It is becoming harder to match the character we present to the public with the feelings that are really going on inside of us.
5) When a person who has been fooled begins to react to the behavior of an avoider, that person will experience feelings of unease, confusion, anxiety, anger, and suspicion. A feeling of not being desired or of being in need, trying to ready your finances and suitcases, ignoring the importance you place on yourself makes you lose faith in yourself. Such who have had their trust and confidence shaken as a result of a betrayal often seek aid in restoring those qualities. These days lie detector test are becoming very common.
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