Sometimes, having a child and putting her out into the world can feel like you’re opening the door for others to comment or make remarks on your parenting style. It’s like you have this I-would-love-to-hear-what-you-think-about-my-parenting-style note on your shiny forehead. From old wives’ tales to the “recent studies”, other people suddenly turn to experts eager to give you advice even when you didn’t ask for any. Many times, their advice is not only unwanted but also misguided.
There have been times when unfriendly and unhelpful nit-picking parenting “advice” was given at the worst possible time. Some people feel obligated to offer you parenting tips and feel like they are at liberty to question your choices just because you are a new parent. And we all know that most of the “advice” offered on our plate isn’t from a place of deep thought and consideration but rather from an unthought-out response illustrating how their parents did things. Well, they “turned out fine”, didn’t they?
Unfortunately, there isn’t a definite way to avoid all unwanted parenting advice; but knowing your values as a parent while firmly asserting your boundaries will go a long way toward navigating an uncomfortable situation. With some thoughtful effort, you can maintain your composure while expressing your feelings with tact and grace.
Here are a few ways to sidetrack unwanted advice.
Be confident about your choices.
At some point in your parenthood, if you are co-sleeping, breastfeeding, baby-wearing, and as cool as a cucumber kind of parent, you will most likely be confronted by these questions: “Are you still breastfeeding?” “Are you still using a carrier?” “How long are you planning to co-sleeping?”
Your positive attitude and confidence in your parenting style can go a long way. Remember, how other people feel about your parenting choices is really none of your business. You can’t control what others say or think. So, let it roll off of your shoulders as best you can, and remember you can only control your thoughts and choices.
Older parents, who have already raised several children, may have a lot to say about the new generation of parenting. There are a lot of learning moments along the way when raising children to adulthood. A lot of veteran parents are very eager to impart their knowledge to new parents. Just let them share their knowledge and consider what they have to say. You may learn something you hadn’t considered. But ultimately, take what they have to say and then do what you feel is best for your kids. After all, you are the parent.
“I might give that some consideration.”
People will most likely back down or change their tone when they feel you are listening to them and giving their ideas some thought. This is a subtle way of telling someone that you have your own mind and won’t blindly follow their advice. You can use this phrase if someone lectures you about making your baby get used to the crib or how to deal with toddler tantrums. Just because they read an article in a magazine, they think they are now a walking encyclopedia on child discipline. Again, be respectful and listen to how they have come up with their opinions. Consider what they have to say, and then decide for yourself if you’d like to try out their suggestions.
Quote your pediatrician
While people may dispute others’ opinions, they hardly argue with a doctor’s advice. When people question your parenting method or give you unsolicited advice, you know it is outright wrong or out-of-date; sometimes, you just want to be blunt and say,
Hey welcome to my blog . I am a modern women who love to share any tips on lifestyle, health, travel. Hope you join me in this journey!
Speak Your Mind