As a parent, you may not be able to be with your child every second. Whether you need long-term childcare when you go back to work or just a babysitter for a few hours, having someone else watch your child is something you and your co-parent will likely need to discuss.
It’s important to be on the same page over childcare. It can be extremely beneficial for your child’s social and emotional development. But, it’s also essential to come up with a budget for your external childcare resources. Depending on your custody arrangement, your budget might look different than another separated couple.
If you’re not sure where to start when it comes to agreeing on childcare, we’ve got some resources that can help. First, we’ll talk about how you can find the best childcare setup and what to look for. Then, we’ll cover how you can overcome obstacles as a team for the best interest of your little one.
Choosing the Right Childcare Provider
There are millions of childcare providers in the country, from large centers to daycares running out of people’s homes. Unfortunately, there may not be very many near you. It’s a growing problem for parents across the country. That’s especially true in light of the COVID-19 pandemic, which has forced many childcare centers to close (at least temporarily).
If you find that you’re in a childcare desert, know what to look for in a good facility, even if you have limited options. Childcare deserts can actually be dangerous. Sending your child to the wrong facility can put them at risk of receiving improper care, and may even increase their risk of abuse and neglect.
Working with your co-parent to find the right provider is certainly in the best interest of your child. There are a few things to look for in a provider that can help you to make that choice, including things like:
- Quality of food
- Teacher to child ratios
- Organization
- Discipline
- Cleanliness
Another thing to check on is the children who are already at the facility (if you can make a visit). Do they seem happy? What types of activities are they doing on a daily basis? Does it seem like your child would fit in? Sometimes, going with your gut can be your greatest tool.
It’s also important to know that the staff working there is fully qualified, so don’t be afraid to ask questions. Is every staff member up to date on all certifications to keep your child safe, including CPR? Do they know basic first aid care? Do they know how to work with children who have special needs?
On paper, it might seem as though you’re going too far or nitpicking things. But, whether you have limited options or you’re just trying to find the right fit, working with your co-parent to make sure you both agree on a facility’s methods and practices will make the process less stressful for everyone.
Who Pays for Childcare?
Who pays for childcare depends on the custody arrangement between parents. If you have joint custody, for example, you might split the cost of childcare evenly. In many cases, this is just something you will have to work out with your co-parent on your own, especially if you don’t want to get into a court battle.
If one parent has sole physical custody and the other has visitation rights, the formula is a bit different. In these situations, the non-custodial parent is often required to pay child support. Each state has a formula it follows to determine how much that support should be. It is meant to cover costs like:
- Food
- Clothing
- School supplies
- Extras the child regularly needs
If a parent is paying child support, they might be surprised to learn that it doesn’t even begin to cover most daycare expenses. While most courts will mediate that both parents have to pay for daycare costs, there are cases in which the non-custodial parent has to contribute, on top of what they’re already paying for child support each month. If possible, try to work out a payment arrangement on your own to keep things calm and civil. If neither one of you can afford it, you might want to consider a child care subsidy.
Making the Right Decisions Together
Whether you need a daily childcare provider or a babysitter once in a while, communication is key with your co-parent. Remember, this isn’t about you or your former partner.
Consider things like travel and cost, but more importantly, consider what is best for your child. You may have to make compromises, and you might end up being a little inconvenienced from time to time.
But, if you’re truly putting your child’s wellbeing first, finding the right childcare facility for them is imperative, and it will be a much easier process if you’re willing to work with your co-parent to make that decision.
I’m a 20-something stay-at-home mother and wife. I have an amazing husband, a beautiful daughter, two loving dogs, and a lazy cat. I wouldn’t change my life for anything! I love to read, listen to music, cook and blog!
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