Ah, self-regulation. The ability to both understand and manage one’s behavior is something that even adults struggle with on the regular. Though this is understandable, it shouldn’t excuse the need to teach children self-regulation. On the contrary, learning to regulate one’s behavior is a lifelong skill that should be taught early.
If you have a child, here are a few tips to get self-regulation education started.
Gamify the Self-Regulation Experience
Self-regulation is a heady, complicated topic. It’s easy for teens and especially kids to get lost along the way. One of the best ways to teach self-regulation is by gamifying the experience.
A great way to do this is by messing with common cues in classic games. Play a freeze dance game the normal way. Then have the kids dance when the music is off and freeze when it’s on. Play Simon Says normally. Then flip the script and only have kids obey commands when they don’t have Simon Says attached.
This pushes your children to analyze their behavior and buck against habitual activities. This can expand their ability to look inwardly. It isn’t just theory, either. Research has shown that when kids that struggled with self-regulation were offered a gamified curriculum, they showed enhanced impulse control, increased informational processing, and better management of high cognitive conflict.
Address the Screen Time
Every parent is aware of the not-so-hidden side effects of too much technology. One of the most common ways to curb this issue is by limiting screen time.
When it comes to teaching self-regulation, though, you don’t want to make this a one-way parental rule. Notice that the header of this section doesn’t say cut out or forbid screen time. On the contrary, screens are part and parcel of the modern lifestyle. Removing them completely can be detrimental to your child’s development as a modern adult, professional, and so on.
Instead, use your screen time as a way to teach self-regulation. An increasing quantity of research indicates that children who use screens before bed struggle with what is referred to as effortful control. This means they have trouble staying focused and delaying gratification. In a word, they can’t self-regulate.
Use screen time as a natural way to help your kids learn to have effortful control. Sit down and talk with them about how they can get the most out of limited screen time. One excellent way to do this is by creating a screen time agreement or an online safety contract that is, a set of rules and parameters for your entire family’s device usage.
Screen time agreements are a great way to collectively consider how you can regulate your time in front of a screen. How can you set timers or reminders to help you stop at a reasonable time? This is a great low-pressure yet practical way to introduce your kids to the idea of indulgence with borders.
Talk Things Through With Your Kids
If you want your kids to develop in the area of self-regulation, you have to get them in on the process. This isn’t a suggestion. In this case, it’s a necessity.
Think about it. If your child is merely following orders, it’s very hard for them to learn to analyze their behavior.
Instead, take the time to break down what it means to be self-regulated. Tackle related topics like emotional intelligence, also known as emotional quotient or EQ. Show them that learning EQ-related things like empathy and gratitude starts with self-awareness, something that is closely connected to self-regulation.
As their knowledge expands, your kids can begin to go beyond simply following the rules that you’ve established. Rather than fighting with them to stop using a screen, you can remind them about how important it is to learn to regulate their screen time.
Remember, just because your child is learning doesn’t mean you have to make the educational process difficult. Go for the open book test option by enabling your child to take control of their self-regulation journey.
Teaching Self-Regulation to Kids and Teens
Self-regulation is a lifelong learning process. It’s also a practical skill for folks of all ages, including children and teenagers. Self-regulation plays a key part in learning crucial functions like emotional intelligence, making good judgment calls, and exercising self-control. It’s an essential part of being a well-rounded individual.
So start working on self-regulation early and often with your kids. Gamify their experiences. Use normal struggles like screen time as teaching tools. And above all, keep your kids in the know about the whole process.
If you can do that, you can equip your children with a skill that they will continue to utilize for the rest of their lives.
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