As parents, we always worry about our youngsters, their wants, and their needs. We take it upon ourselves to coach and discipline them but sometimes it doesn’t work. Sometimes it so happens that children talk back and that we feel disrespected. Try and understand why your child is talking back.
Talking back is a common thing that children do as they grow old, I’m sure you have talked back or wanted to talk back to your parents when you were growing up. It is a common behavior and can be rectified in many ways.
It can happen at any age, from toddlers to teenagers. As soon as children learn and understand what no’ means they might start talking back. Backtalk is a natural part of a child’s development but it is not easy to handle. As parents, if you observe your child talking back you need to take measures to handle it and rectify this behavior.
Reasons why kids talk back
Talking back means responding in a disrespectful manner. There are many reasons why kids talk back. Sometimes kids want to test their boundaries, as to how far they can carry on. Some kids feel dominated by overprotective or nagging parents, and then they talk back. There is a feeling of not being respected out of which they sometimes talk back. There are some families where kids see other family members talking back and try to imitate it.
But like many cases, most of the time it is a child’s way to display his power and authority. They want to show that nobody can boss over or control them.
As humans, we are born with a natural instinct to control our lives and to have the power to handle ourselves. But, as parents, when we stop our kids from doing something or try to overprotect them, expect too much from kids, or help them out to the extent of making them dependent on us, we take away their independence and power to control their own lives.
In a difficult situation, human response is either to fight or flight. Because kids can’t run away they tend to fight back with eye-rolls, backtalk, arguments, stomping, etc. It is difficult to handle kids who talk back but if you know the reason behind this behavior and some tricks to deal with them, you can solve this issue.
How to handle kids who talk back
Give them positive power
Give your kid positive power and let him make easy decisions like what he wants to eat, letting him choose his clothes, or making plans for a family get-together if your child is a teenager.
Positive power reinforces that they have some control over their lives and they won’t fight back over minor inconveniences.
Keep your calm
Many kids annoy parents with their back talks making parents lose their temper and saying something inappropriate. That is not how you handle kids who talk back, it will only escalate the problem. Do whatever it takes to keep yourself calm and only then speak in a polite tone. Go to another room or sit down for a minute, gather your thoughts and then try to mitigate the fight. Children always do what they see, avoid arguments or fights in front of children.
Find out the real reason behind backtalk
As mentioned earlier, kids talk back when they feel angry, disrespected, bossed over, sometimes ignored, frustrated, or hurt. Finding out the real reason can help you solve the issue rather than creating new problems from the backtalk. For some kids talking back is their way of getting attention from parents when they feel ignored.
Appreciate good behavior
Kids love it when their good behavior is appreciated just like adults. Give them a hug, say it out loud, or give them a reward when they do something nice. But make sure that they know that even if they ask for something unreasonable politely doesn’t guarantee them getting it. When kids are appreciated they generally do not tend to fight back and get attention.
Make them aware of the consequences
Every action has a consequence, irrespective of whether it is positive or negative. When kids talk back to you, make sure you make them aware of consequences for this behavior like less tv or phone time, giving them age-appropriate tasks like doing some chores, and more. This will remind them to avoid talking back because it has some consequences.
Final Word
Now that you know why kids talk back and few ways to handle them, life will be a little easier and peaceful at home. Kids who talk back can upset you and even frustrate you but your calm and positive behavior towards them can correct their behavior.
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