Coping with Pain and Loneliness after a Divorce

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Coping with Pain and Loneliness after a Divorce

No one thinks of divorce when saying their vows. Both are crazy in love and willing to finally start a family. Perhaps have their firstborn shorty after. 

But life makes it changes, spouses become strangers. All of a sudden, someone says: “I want a divorce”, destroying the hopes of the other one for happily ever after. 

Few things in the world can be as striking and devastating as divorce. Especially when it’s not an online divorce in PA but a highly contested case. It leaves you with an aching feeling of loneliness and self-doubt. And it seems there’s no way out of this. But it shouldn’t be like this.

Learn how to deal with loneliness after a divorce to find your inner self and start a new life even if the breakup has hit you hard.

Admit He/She Is Not Coming Back

Waiting for him/her to come back after a divorce is unreasonable but quite common among recent divorcees. Off and on, calling your ex to ask them to pick up their old stuff or give you a hand. Monitoring their social media profile to be around and perhaps allegedly accidentally bump into each other. Even stay aware of their life and congratulating them on events and achievements. No matter how sad it sounds, but this will give you nothing but pain because they moved on and you didn’t. Admit that your ex is gone and stop wasting your life.

Stay Away from Rebound Relationship

Some say that dealing with loneliness after a divorce is best with a new partner. But every relationship is like a lottery – you lose many times before you win. Are you sure you can overcome another breakup? 

Statistically, every new failure after a divorce only heightens the feeling of loneliness and self-worthlessness. It can destroy a person’s self-esteem and plunge them into depression. Unless you’re as lucky as Lindsay Lohan’s character from “Just My Luck”, it’s better to take some time alone to analyze your ex-relationship rather than dive into new questionable experiences.

Take Some Time to Feel Sorry for Yourself

Divorce loneliness can be extremely painful. But the sooner you admit what you feel, the sooner you’ll move on to a new bright future. Give yourself some time to cry, shout, listen to sad songs, or even get drunk for a while. Just don’t let this period last for an eternity. Allow yourself a week of sadness and then – that’s it. No pity. No pain. Just a new life.

Avoid Unhealthy Eating

Whether to the anxiety or to simple laziness, but being alone after divorce can bring changes to your eating habits. Why cooking a nutritious meal if there is no one to share it with? 

However, bad eating habits can increase the sense of self-doubt and insecurity. Alternatively, rich in protein, fiber, and micronutrients meals can elevate your mood and confidence. 

Clean eating is not a magic pill against divorce loneliness but it can help you get through another day without damaging your health. And who knows: cooking might be the distraction you need to overcome the pain.

Join a Divorce Community

The best way to nurture your feeling of loneliness is to think that you’re the only person going through this hell. But if you look around, you can find many others who once felt or are feeling the same pain as you do. Go online or find a local offline community of people coping with divorce. There you may find support and understanding, as well as get some effective advice on how to move on.

Start Exercising

Exercising is considered the easiest and the most affordable source of happiness. It can give you a goal, a reason to be proud of yourself, improve your body shape and health. It’s also a great way to find new friends and leave your divorce loneliness behind. And boxing, for what it’s worth, is recognized as the best kind of sport for those who need to release negative energy. Kicking a punching bag can be fun and physically effective. Besides, it will make you a part of a strong community where you’ll find support, understanding, and good company. 

Find a Social Hobby

And if you have a bit more time to commit to improving your life, pick a challenging hobby that will keep you around other interesting people. If you like dancing, it may be a great opportunity to invest in your future relationship and develop a strong bond with a nice person. If photography is more to your taste, there’s no better time to awake your inner artist and find sacred spots of your city with other like-minded people. But if you’ve always enjoyed cars, why don’t you join the club of other such enthusiasts?

After the divorce is a perfect period to do what you’ve always wanted to but never had time or gut for. There’s no one around to cut your wings anymore, so go ahead!

Travel

Sometimes, being in the same city or town is too close and too painful. Traveling might help. Not necessarily should you go to Tibet to meditate and find peace. However, changing the picture and meeting other cultures may appear quite refreshing.

If you think, there are plenty of benefits in traveling after divorce. Planning is easier, you are more flexible, and there is no one telling you what to do or ruining the fun. It’s a good opportunity to escape from old commitments and obligations and to reconsider your values. Besides, traveling is an endless source of unique lessons, small victories, and pride for yourself. Isn’t it the best way to overcome the divorce pain?

Bottom Line

Getting through divorce is a painful experience – before, during, and after. Feeling lost and lonely is normal, and there’s no shame in that. What you need is to leave it behind as soon as possible and find things, experiences, and people that give you the energy and strength to move on.

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