How do you set boundaries with an adult child?

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The current world advocates for ‘’Mini-democracies’’ where the child’s voice has the same weight as the parent’s opinion. In some cases, the child’s voice even takes over and the parents are left with little to do in this case. We have all seen parents that are fully sacrificing their own needs for those of the children. But now, the pendulum has swung from focusing on the needs of the child and how he/she behaves to focusing on their emotions. With this in the rise, the child’s anxiety disorders is directly proportional and in the rise too. So what should parents do to maintain healthy relationships with the grown children? In this brief, I’ve shared the six steps to setting healthy boundaries with adult children.

Be a parent

The first step in setting healthy boundaries with your adult child is to be a parent and play the role of a parent. In this case, I mean you have to make sure that there’s a boundary between who is a parent and who the child is. Firstly, being a parent is a huge responsibility. As the parent, you must care for your children regardless of age. That means teaching them, feeding and clothing. As they grow older, teach your children how to make choices in all these categories. 

Be clear and concise

Before you jump to your adult child with a list of what he/she needs to adjust, ask yourself what is bothering you and explore the question of why it’s important. Now take the time to identify how their specific behavior is making you feel. Being concise and clear in this case means being very straightforward in what you need to be corrected.

Be assertive and compassionate

In this situation, I mean you should be able to state what is bothering you clearly without trying to hurt the other person’s feeling. Maintain eye contact with your child and maintain a sense of calm when talking to them. It’s also important to have an open conversation with them while monitoring your tone. 

Understand how to respect and love your adult child

Ask yourself why doesn’t your son or daughter listen to you anymore? The truth in many instances is that your child feels like they are now responsible for their actions and they don’t need to explain every action to their parents any more. But still, there are other reasons why they might choose to ignore your suggestions. How you talk to your daughter or son will definitely have a significant effect on how they think and act. In this instance, you should understand your child’s needs and know how to respect them. 

Give choices to your child

As a parent, you have to understand the important of giving your children choices as they grow. You have to start early enough to teach them how to make choices by simply offering them lots of them. Discuss with them every choice and let them understand why they have to make any of them. 

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