If it’s possible, it’s always a better idea for parents that are going through divorce proceedings to come up with a child custody agreement without the courts. Leaving the decision up to a judge should be the last resort. For unmarried parents, using the courts may not even be an option since there isn’t a legal divorce. In both situations, this is where a private custody agreement is helpful. A child custody agreement is a document that shows the guidelines for child custody between child and parent.
With a private custody agreement, parents work on an agreement that works best for them. They can do this without or with the help of an attorney and then present the plan to the court. The court then does one of three things. The court can accept the agreement as it is, change the terms if they seem unfair, or reject certain parts entirely. In order to prevent the court from rejecting or changing parts of the agreement, working with an experienced child custody lawyer is a good idea.
What Is Included in a Private Custody Agreement?
A private custody agreement is similar to a parenting plan and will outline the agreements of each parent on different issues.
Sole or Joint Custody: Custody is either classified as sole or joint. If parents have joint custody, it means both parents have custody of the child. If one parent has sole custody, only that one parent is considered the custodian.
Physical and Legal Custody: Legal custody means that the parent has the right to make decisions for the child. Physical custody involves who is taking care of the child on a daily basis.
Visitation Schedule: Private custody agreements need to also outline when each parent is going to have time with the children. This means vacations, holidays, weekends, weekdays, and other important scheduling information for the family.
Religion and Education: Other important issues about how the children should be raised should be included in the agreement. This can include things like religion and education, and it can also include things such as extracurricular activities. Everything should be considered and put in the document.
There should also be language in the document that specifies when a parent can make changes to the document should there ever be a need.
The Details Matter
The details are very important when it comes to a private custody agreement and it’s necessary to be as specific as possible. Including as many details as possible protects both parents and can be helpful in fixing any potential disputes. If the terms aren’t specific or clearly defined, then it can leave both parents open to a child custody lawsuit in the future. An example of how specific things should be can include spelling out exact drop-off and pick-up times when children are going to the other parent. If one of the parents doesn’t want the ex to come to the home, then there should also be a drop-off location in the agreement.
Who Are the Parties Involved When It Comes to a Private Custody Agreement?
Most child custody agreements are going to refer to the biological parents. However, this may vary depending on each specific family situation. Other parties that could be mentioned in the agreement include grandparents, stepparents, and other close relatives. Child custody agreements can be tailored to meet the needs of each specific child, as well as the caretakers involved. Custody agreements need to think about the child’s best interest. If the agreement is not in the child’s best interest, then the party shouldn’t be mentioned.
How Does One Get a Private Custody Agreement?
Typically, agreements are done during separation or divorce hearings. In some cases, the parents have already been separated for some time. It’s also possible to create a custody agreement without any separation or divorce lawsuit. It’s important to submit the agreement to the court to have a judge legally approve it so that it’s binding. The custody agreement needs to be in writing because I t’s unlikely that a court would even approve an oral agreement. Legal documents required for child custody can vary depending on location and each state has its own set of paperwork. Some examples can include model parenting agreements, grandparent visitation forms, parental rights and responsibilities form, and motions for modifications.
Having just a notarized agreement isn’t enough to prove there is an actual agreement and it’s important to get it approved by the court for the interest of all involved.
What Happens if a Private Custody Agreement Is Violated?
A private custody agreement is still legally enforceable so violations of visitation orders or child custody agreements can lead to consequences and are serious. Some examples of violations can include loss of custody or visitation privileges, a contempt of court order, and even possible criminal consequences. Criminal consequences are likely if violating the agreement led to harm for the child. Some examples of how an agreement could be violated include keeping the child longer than what is stated in the agreement, not informing the other parent of the kid’s whereabouts, taking the child on a trip without getting approval, taking the child across state lines, allowing someone not authorized to care for the child, or denying the other parent their visitation or custody rights.
If a child custody agreement is violated, even if it is a private one, it’s best not to take matters into your hands. You should contact relevant authorities, if necessary, especially if the child is missing. You should then advise the court as soon as possible if a violation has been recognized. This way, you are able to avoid doing something that may also be considered a violation. Child custody agreements may need to be modified after a certain amount of time in order to suit the changing abilities and needs of the children and parents involved so there are no violations.
Working with an Attorney
Even though you can create a private custody agreement without the help of an attorney, working with an experienced attorney can be the best way to do so. An attorney will know what should and can be in the agreement and help provide guidance to parents that are going through this difficult situation. A lawyer can also help submit the agreement to the court and help with any feedback the judge provides if he or she is rejecting parts of the agreement. If parts of the agreement are not in the best interest of the child, then the court will likely say so and the agreement will need to be redrafted in order to best suit the child or children.
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