Myths About Divorce with Kids That Parents Should Disregard

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Children are known to suffer the most from divorce. A child’s concept of family goes through many changes from seeing it as a single unit to seeing it separately. Divorcing parents had many issues and ongoing fight that resulted in separation. Too often, children’s interests are neglected when parents divorce.

Children are frequently ignored during the divorce process. They cause a lot of doubt and confusion because they don’t know what’s going on.

Divorce lead to suffering of whole family. Usually it is assumed that a child won’t be affected by it since his parents aren’t together but he can meet them both. The following are 7 myths about how children handle divorce.

Myth 1: Younger children undergo less trauma from divorce

Some people have a misconception that children at a younger age experience less traumas as compare to adults. When they cannot comprehend the incident in their mind they will not remember it. This is not true.

As a child as young as two years old goes through the process of memory development, he may adjust to reality, but he will remember the memory associated with the incident. Though he is incapable of comprehending it on a cognitive level, it is just as damaging to him as it is to an adult.

It doesn’t matter what age you are when it happens. Divorce will leave an indelible mark on a child’s memory. He may not recall it in great detail, but it has left him emotionally scarred.

Myth 2:  After divorce children suffer only emotionally

For couples going through divorce have a significant mental and emotional impact. People do offer emotional support to children who are in distress. You can also get help with your mental health. Children who have witnessed their parents’ divorce have shown unexpected effects on their physical health.

Physically, divorce stress causes weight loss, appetite loss, stomach troubles, lack of sleep, and even a weakened immune system. It eventually has an impact on a child’s overall performance in school and in his social life. A child may lack a sense of attachment or crave it in order to fill a void in his family.

Myth 3: Trying to hide divorce from your children is a good idea

Divorce should never be hidden from the child. It may cause your child to have many doubts and misunderstandings about why both parents are not together.

The proper way to handle a situation like this is for both parents to provide an age appropriate explanation. Don’t go into too much detail. While explaining, keep some boundaries in mind.

The main point of argument should be that he will be deeply loved despite the divorce. Both of his parents must provide him with the necessary support. He should not be blaming himself for the current situation.

Myth 4: Custody of the children is always given to mothers

As per the research done by Instant Online Divorce , after a divorce, it was once thought that only the mother could be the custodian of a child. It is also assumed that only a mother can provide adequate support for her child, which is partially correct. However, a father’s role in a child’s mental development is critical.

This law has been revised, and changes have been made. After a divorce, both the mother and the father can have custody of the child.

Custody and visitation decisions are based on what is in the best interests of the child. This decision has been made in light of the circumstances. Gender has nothing to do with it. Previously, it was a common misconception that the child would only stay with the mother. That isn’t correct.

Myth 5: Kids Need to Know the Truth About a “Bad” Ex-Spouse

Is it really necessary for children to know the truth about a “bad” ex-spouse? They don’t, in fact. Even after many years apart, you should never do this to your child. Both the mother and the father are important figures in a child’s life.

They will feel attacked if you speak negatively about your ex-spouse to them. They may feel guilty for loving one of their parents because the other said something negative about them. This is the absolute worst thing you can possibly do to your child.

To deal with a situation like this, you must first trust your child. Allow them to understand and comprehend the situation. They’ll eventually learn more about the situation and form an opinion about how he feels about his parents. Is it good or bad? He will make his own decision.

Myth 6: Children of Divorce Do Better When Holidays Are Split in Half

It’s also a myth that spending the day with the father and the evening with the mother is a balanced approach to this situation. This is absurd on both a mental and a physical level. Consider splitting an event in half with mom and half with dad. It is exhausting due to the quantity of effort required.

The time it takes to go from one location to another. Packing and unpacking bags for two separate residences. Lastly, you get a sense of emptiness because you can’t expect them to be together on their own.

This circumstance must be managed with caution by limiting the amount of time and effort spent separately and spending it together.

Myth 7: There should be different rules for kids of divorced parents

It is considered that establishing separate rules for children will help them to understand both parents. Regrettably, it does not. Instead, it made the child’s condition more uncertain. Co-parenting is the greatest approach to deal with such a situation.

Co-parenting maintains the same degree of expectation for both the child and the parents. For a specific situation, one parent should do exactly what the other parent is doing. The consistency of a parent’s behavior will lead to a child acting consistently.

It is necessary to maintain the discipline. No parent should play the fun card to help the child in everything in order to appear to his children as a saint.

 

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